Friday, October 18, 2013

How to Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back - How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back - 3 Things You Absolutely Must Do

Stop Communicating With Him

After a break up one of the worst things you can do is constantly contact your ex boyfriend. Doing so will only push him further and further away. So the first thing you need to do is stop communicating with him. And when I say stop communicating, I mean no text messages, no emails and no phone calls.

The two of you need some space to think. And it is very difficult to think if you are constantly in contact with each other. But be very careful with this tip. You don't want to cut off communication for too long. Especially if he has been trying to contact you. For the first few weeks you should ignore him. But after that you should gradually welcome communication. However, don't overdo it. Take your time and let things progress naturally.

Get Honest With Yourself

This is a very important step. When a relationship ends there is a reason for that happening. That means its time to look at the man, or woman in this case, in the mirror. What areas do you need to improve on? Are you a horrible listener? Do have trouble communicating? The best thing you can do is take this time apart to work on bettering yourself. And you need to ask yourself do you really want him back?

Is he really who you want to be with or are you just letting your emotions get the best of you. Have a real and very honest conversation with yourself. Doing so will help you make the best decision and not one based on your emotions.

Have A Plan & Know What You Are Going To Say

Just like you would prepare for a job interview, you should also prepare for the words you will say when you get back in contact with your ex. The first conversation you have with your ex boyfriend will determine the direction the two of you will go. So it's a very crucial point in time. Never cry or beg him to come back. You are better than that. And no one likes a desperate person.

The one thing you should remember is he probably still cares for you greatly. There are just some things that were pushing him away. So you need to be able to listen to what he has to say and no be defensive. If he starts to open up, you need to know how to deal with that. You have to make sure your emotions are in check before you have a conversation with him. Otherwise you will end up getting in your own way.

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How to Get Your Ex-Wife - How to Get Your Ex-Wife Back

She's gone but you still love her. You want her back. Is it possible? Of course it is; Liz Taylor married the same man twice. It's not something terribly uncommon. Whether you are already divorced or only separated, you can get your ex-wife back. But to do that, you need to understand a female's heart.

There was a time my wife almost left me. I had an illicit relationship with a 'sweet young thing' at the office. When my wife found out, she hit the roof, which was understandable. But even I was shocked at her fury and wrath. I never thought that she was capable of such a level of anger. Of course I deserved it but the thing I realized about women is that their greatest need is security. And security to a woman is not the same as security to a man. We men derive our security from our bank accounts, which implies our career, job, status, assets etc. But a woman derives her security from her relationships, especially with the ones she loves. That's why having an unfaithful husband is the most hurtful thing a woman can endure. Infidelity destroys a woman's sense of security more than anything else.

Hence, to get your ex-wife back, you have to convince her that she will be secure with you. This applies even if you were not unfaithful. You may have broken up due to other reasons. But deep down she left you because in some way, her sense of security was shattered. It may be because of your dishonesty, bad habits, bad temper, over-inflated ego, selfishness, self-centeredness, pushiness etc. All these things make her feel insecure with you. It makes her see you as unreliable, untrustworthy, insecure and immature. And when that happens, she's out the door, mate. I'm not implying that your ex-wife cannot live without a man but what I'm saying is that a woman sees her relationship with her lover as an oasis of security. Therefore, when that security is no longer there (or has severely diminished), she sees such a relationship as no longer worth continuing.

The first thing to do to restore your ex-wife's sense of security with you is to change yourself. I had to make some radical changes to my lifestyle and habits to save my marriage. Besides the obvious act of stopping the illicit relationship, I made it a point to stay at home more and pay more attention to my wife. So take steps to change yourself in ways that will restore your ex-wife's sense of security. Your mindset must be to love her unconditionally. Of course, your ex-wife has her faults too but you should not concern yourself with getting her to change yet. For now, you make the changes in yourself first. When she sees the changes in you, I guarantee she will change her ways as well.

Once you have made those radical changes in yourself, you can try to contact your ex-wife again. Realize that after the breakup, she might still be wary of you, so give her space and the option to say no. If you are gentle and persistent, you will get the chance to meet her and eventually show her you have changed.

When your ex-wife senses that you love her unconditionally, her heart will warm up to you once again because her sense of security is restored. And when that happens, you have overcome the biggest hurdle in getting back with your ex-wife. All you need to do after that is to build on the momentum of this new relationship with her. Do things together that are enjoyable and fun. Start off by just casual chatting and eventually you will be able to discuss deeper things like resuming your relationship. At all times, remember to make her feel like the most secure woman on earth and she will be yours forever.

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How to Get Your Ex - How To Get Your Ex Back Using These Simple Steps

Especially if the relationship ended on bad terms. There will still be a lot of hurt feelings and issues that need to be resolved. And while that will happen later on down the road, below I am going to share with you 4 simple things you can do to get your foot back in the door.

Start With A Text

If you haven't spoken to your ex in a while try starting with a nice, simple text message. After all, you never know if they have moved on and found someone new. Make sure the text is sweet. Think of a great time the two of you shared together and share that via text.

For example, if you and your ex use to go to a certain restaurant all the time you can text them and say "hey, just passed by our favorite restaurant. Brought back a lot of great memories. Hope you are doing well!"

And that's all you have to say. If they respond that's a good sign. It doesn't mean they want to rekindle. But it does mean they are open to talk.

Take It Slow

Often times when your ex responds you want to quickly jump and start moving too fast. Don't do this. Take your time. You don't want to rush back into the relationship. Just because you have a history with this person doesn't mean you can go from zero to 60 in a matter of days.

You have to remember, there are a lot of issues that must first be resolved. And if you truly want your ex back you have to be willing to be patient and work through those issues.

Own Up To Your Mistakes

Before you even try to get back with your ex you need to take the time to evaluate the relationship and yourself. When a relationship fails both parties have to be willing to accept their part. No one is perfect. And trust me, there are some things you have done in the past that you need to own up to. This is the hardest part for most people.

They just want to move on like nothing ever happened. That won't fly. In order to start the process of rebuilding trust you must first own up to the mistakes you made in the relationship the first time around. Now is not the time to let your pride get in the way. Its time to swallow your pride and take responsibility for your actions. It doesn't matter what the other person did, you own up to what you did.

Avoid Rehashing The Past

I know this is very hard to do. Especially when there are a lot of hurt feelings involved. But if you want to move forward, you have to acknowledge the problem, discuss it and move on. You can't go down memory lane and bring up every single thing you felt they did wrong. At some point you need to let it go so the two of you can start rebuilding your relationship.

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